"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" - Groucho Marx
Sorry neighbor...I had to steal this. I hope you...nor marx are offended by my thievery. But Somehow my mind has been read.
Last night as I was sitting with my family talking about the things that strange families talk about, of which I believe all families are strange. I had this strange suffocating thought come into my mind, and it wasn't because of the air quality. I thought, I can't get married!!! I haven't lived my life!! I haven't even left the country by myself. Now obviously. I don't REALLY believe that marriage is bad. I want to get married. Just not now. I am too young!!
I bet you are all wondering, why is she so scared? She doesn't even have a boyfriend. I figured that out thank you. No need to remind me, that wasn't a bitter thought I just want you to know I am sane. I don't have a make believe boyfriend.
However, the thought still came. I am still freaking out. I have this strange sense to leave and run away. But then I think. Where the heck will I go? And I think that is what is so frustrating about all of this. I don't have anywhere to get away to. I feel scared that I am going to not be able to travel anywhere. ( I realize now how dramatic this is sounding, though you should know, in my head it seems totally logical)
I guess I am scared I am going to look back on my life and not have any sweet stories. I never snuck out of my house. I loved sleep too much and my friends would be asleep anyway. I never went to parties because again my friends wouldn't be there. I am not saying that I want to go out and be wild and crazy. That certainly isn't me. But i do feel like I need to do something before I am, theoretically speaking, "tied down". I need to be able to say.."well when I went and nannied in Australia I was able to catch a ride on a kangaroo and eat some {insert famous Australian food here}".
I just want to reiterate that I DO want to get married. Just not right now. I just stop breathing when I think about it. Okay? okay. I need that whole breathing thing to live. that is all goodbye oh and that quote...it is a joke. Though I know that I will get mocked by my dear sister who says that I need to stop talking about my classes. {she hates it when I learn}
