.

There are basically moments in which you're in touch with the meaning of life. when your relationship to the rest of the universe makes sense.

~BARBARA DE ANGELIS

That hot italian girl in the middle is my friend. Her dad is the guy who was in a coma that I talked about. He actually did die. He had a really rare type of diabetes and the fact that he made it past ten was amazing. he was a pioneer for the other people that will have the hardship of diabetes like him. My bestest friend there is aching right now and i have no idea how to help. I can't even fathom losing my dad. i don't even like to think about it. when i went to the hospital with bffe and another good friend it was so weird. honestly my friend and her sisters and mom are probably THE strongest people I know. her mom spoke at his funeral and not only was her talk probably the most amazing one i have heard for a while, but she was strong. another thing at the funeral that i thought was really uplifting too was that a man that i really look up to said something to the fact that their dad's duty of being a dad doesn't end when he dies. these guys have had problems it seems one after another. but people all around have come to help them. it is a tender mercy in the least. anyways. it is late and i dont really know where i am going with this. but i just want to say that Earl, her dad, was amazing. he was so cool and great. haha I really enjoyed him. and that if you think about it. just pray for them. well any family that is in similar situations. i am not in any sort of love with someone like my parents but i can't imagine my partner in crime leaving just like that. obviously they will be together forever. which i think is something that has held my friends mom together, and the atonement. but yeah. it just really makes me realize how i really need to find someone who will endure to the end and also help me endure. death seems to really rearrange everything. my perspective especially. i remember when i found out about my friends dad i called my family to fast for them and my dad answered and i just couldn't help myself. man. my dad. it would be hard. it will be hard.. i think that i shut off the idea of death because it is so tough that i would rather act like it doesn't happen. i think that makes it worse though. i don't know. anyway. it is too late for me to be talking....let alone putting my words out for all to see. so goodnight..happy new decade.

the end.