Awkward .......

So as some of you may know, I am a very awkward person. And I am fine with that. I do actually do things that later I think to myself that I should not be so weird. The thing is though, that when I am performing this awkward thing I don't even realize it. I am probably thinking about something totally different than what is going on. Like when I am staring at someone after they have said something that was a joke and it seems like I am just staring at them because I am weird in reality I am thinking about where my friend is. And then once I realize that I was supposed to reply I just say something like "ya". It is really funny. Like just a bit ago I caught myself staring at some guy and he was staring back. Sorry sir. I don't think you are cute I am just unable to stay in the moment long enough to keep me from embarrassing myself. 

 Another reason I am awkward is because I really have nothing to say. Like when I am getting ready to take a snap shot picture of someone for their i.d. card and they say something about it being windy and that they hate pictures I dont know what to say so I end up saying something like " dont worry it is a small picture".....as if I am somehow meaning to say ohhh don't be so worried that you look so bad that only if you squint reallly hard will anyone see that blasphemous picture..... Or when someone is telling me about something that is important to them and I really think nothing of it. At that point I have no feelings at all. So I just say something like....ohhhh....cool. When really it is not cool that you got to the second level of rock band.....my brother is on level three sucker. I think that at first sight I look like someone who is just dying to hear your life story....i am sorry my friend...you are misunderstanding me. I dont want to know. That is mainly those strangers who think that telling me that they were fat as a child and have somehow overcome such a great defeat....well...that is swell, I bet you are proud of that osmond lady, she has lost weight too, and now she is the spokesperson for some scam-ish weight loss thing. Maybe you two could go out for to fu. I try really hard to look busy. That is why I am grateful for the cell phone....No I am really not texting someone all the time...I only pretend to be when I see you so that I don't have to talk to you, I am too busy....texting. It is not that I dont LIKE to....it is just that you have so much to say and I have....well...nothing. So when you talk and talk about your new chinese game you bought that no one likes to play, well, all I have is a big ol' sorry, and a "find a better game....possibly in English". 

It may seem that I don't like you. But I do....I just really don't get how you have so much to say. I really do try. I just am blank. The only thing that has happened to me today is a few awkward stares on my part and I won a dice game. Make something out of that...

THE END